🏆 Surviving the Tournament Season

Turning Tournament Time Into a Win for Everyone

Hey, Coaches and Parents! So, you’ve survived the soccer season—congratulations! You’ve earned the patience of saints. But now, it’s tournament time, and things are getting serious. Kids are dreaming of glory, and you’re probably wondering:  Is It More Important to Let Every Kid PLAY or to WIN?

⚽ The Coach’s Dilemma

This article is based on a recent event involving a coach searching for answers—a scenario that could happen to any of us. The coach had a FUNtastic regular season, ensuring every kid played equally, rotating through positions, and likely gaining a few extra gray hairs along the way.

Then came the tournament. The coach thought, “Winning this thing would really boost the kids’ spirits, right?” So, they adjusted their strategy: two kids sat for two quarters while others played all four.

One parent—quiet all season—approached the coach after the game, leading to an uncomfortable conversation. That’s when the coach asked me the following question:             Did I do the right thing? _________________________________________________________________________

Many coaches wrestle with this question, especially when tournament time rolls around. But before diving into the answer, let’s flip the focus:

What does this moment mean for the kids?

👟 Stepping Into the Kids’ Cleats

Imagine: 

• The Night Before: Begging to sleep in their uniform—they wanted to be “ready.”
• The Dream: Scoring the game-winning goal and being carried off the field (by you—better hit the gym).
• The Morning Of: Dragging their groggy parents out of bed at dawn. After all, this is for 1^st place.

Now, picture their little hearts sinking when they’re told:

“Sorry, kid. You’re sitting this one out for a while.” 

Ouch, right?

💡 What Kids Really Want:  Here’s the kicker: surveys (and a whole lot of tearful post-game chats) reveal that most kids prefer to play on a losing team than sit on the bench of a winning one.

Sure, they like winning—but not at the cost of feeling left out. At 7 or 8 years old, they don’t fully grasp tournament stakes. What they’ll remember is how they felt during the game: excited, included, and part of something special.

🤔 Your Role as Coach: 

Being a coach isn’t just about tactics; it’s about creating a positive experience for the kids. Here’s how you can balance fairness and competition, even in high-pressure situations:

🗣️ Talk to Parents Beforehand:  Set the tone before the tournament. Tell parents: “My focus is on making sure every kid has fun, learns, and plays. If we win, great! If not, that’s okay too.” This should head off post-game drama faster than you can say “offside.”

🤝A Quick Note to Parents:  We know you want the best for your kids. You want to see them shine, score goals, and maybe even bring home a trophy. But remember, at any age, what they really want is to play! By ensuring every child gets fair playtime, we’re helping them grow their love for the game and building a team that supports one another.

Thanks for trusting your coach to keep things fun and fair!

🎮 Keep the Playing Field Level:  Stick to equal playtime as much as possible. These are kids, not FIFA pros. Rotating positions and players keeps things fun and helps everyone feel valued.

🥳 Celebrate the Little Wins:  Highlight what each player brings to the team. Did Timmy cheer for his teammates like a pro? Did Mia make her first pass? Celebrate those moments because those are the trophies they’ll carry into adulthood.

🤝 Teach Life Lessons:  Winning is nice, but teamwork, perseverance, and sportsmanship are the real goals. Focus on these; you’ll be every parent’s favorite coach by tournament season’s end.

😂 And Don’t Forget to Laugh:  Tournament time can feel intense, but it’s also the perfect opportunity to bond with your team. Embrace the chaos. Laugh when a kid scores on their own goal. Cheer louder than the parents. And remember—this is supposed to be fun for you too!

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Your Quick Coaching Playbook

🗣️ Talk to Parents: Set expectations about playtime.
⚽ Focus on Fun: Keep the games light and inclusive.
🤝 Foster Team Spirit: Highlight every player’s strengths.
📖 Teach the Bigger Lessons: It’s about more than the score.

🌟 Final Thoughts: Creating Meaningful Memories

When your players look back on this season, they won’t remember the tournament score. They’ll remember how they felt—whether they got to play, laugh, and learn alongside their teammates.

So, Coaches and Parents, keep fairness at the heart of your coaching. You’re not just building a team—you’re shaping childhood memories.

After all:

❤️“The Outcome of Our Children is Infinitely More Important Than the Outcome of Any Game They Will Ever Play!”

Here’s to a successful (and slightly less stressful) tournament season! 🎉 … Wishing You and Yours a Healthy and Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃