Very good article, Koach Karl…”Change Isn’t the Enemy. Losing Our Girls Is.”
I was a girls’ coach for a few years. The one thing that kept our girls committed all the way to college was activities and challenges. Also, focusing on the long-term vision helped make sense of short-term activities and progress.
Girls, more than boys, need social interaction off the ball as much as on. They are social butterflies.
Here are ‘My Rules for Girls’ to stay in the game
(It’s not about the coach; it’s about the players) …
1️⃣. Keep the practices and games challenging! To progress, we need challenges. Losses are not negative if players were challenged and grew.
2️⃣. Change up routines. Monotony will kill passion.
3️⃣. ALWAYS leave them with assignments and personal goals to improve. (Dribbles, sprint time, juggling, accuracy skill drills, etc.)
4️⃣. Change coaches every three years. (They need to adapt to different personality styles, schemes, and tactics).
5️⃣. Meet with parents and players to review life goals and help them focus or adjust personal training accordingly
6️⃣. Better to end sessions with them wanting more than leaving practices dying to go… (let them know what the next progression is, next week, or how you will finish that challenge off next time… etc.).
7️⃣. Let them share feelings and thoughts about the team, the game, and the coaching in open sessions. This avoids gossip, backstabbing, and drama. Keeps thoughts and conversations open.
8️⃣. Always recognize and reward success, either as a team or personally. Girls especially need 3 times as many positives as negatives🌟.
9️⃣. LAUGH. Make sure you laugh with them (not at them) and as a team. Include team activities, celebrate birthdays, and use nicknames.
🔟, People in general want to be part of something positive, not negative.
Karl’s Komments:
Darren — this is some FUNtastic advice. Your years with girls’ teams shine through every line here. What I love most is how your message matches what so many of us see on the field: girls stay in the game when the environment challenges them, connects them, and treats them like whole human beings. Not just players.
Your list isn’t a theory. It’s a lived experience. And it reminds all of us that keeping girls engaged isn’t magic… It’s intentional coaching, joyful environments, and a team culture where they feel seen, supported, and part of something positive💛 .
Your voice adds real value to this conversation, and I’m grateful you shared it.
Dear Reader:
What about you? What have you seen that keeps our girls joyful, confident, and coming back to play? Your voice might be the next one featured in this series.
