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Sharing Insights from 30+ Years of Coaching

By Tony Filicchia – McQueen High School, USSF “A” Licensed Coach

After spending the better part of my coaching career working with boys’ club and high school teams, I was offered a position last year for a local high school girls’ team that had been struggling for some time. Morale was down, players weren’t trying out and there wasn’t a lot of happiness on the team. I liked the idea of creating a new beginning – for the team and myself – and took on the challenge.

My first order of business was to find a younger female assistant coach. I have become a mentor to her, and now I feel the desire to share some insight from my 30+ years of coaching this wonderful game with her and here is ”My Message to Sarah…”

1. Be yourself. Don’t imitate other coaches. Read about, observe, and learn from them, but in the end you have to do what is natural to you. Just make sure enthusiasm is a part of it all – if you’re not excited by it, your players won’t be either.

2. Say at least one nice thing to each player each day – it may be the only nice thing they hear that day. A very wise friend once told me that, and I try my best to remind my students and players daily of the good qualities they possess. It has paid huge benefits over the years, as many of my former students and players have actually said that I was the only person who believed in them or noticed the good in them. It has led to strong connections and friendships long after their playing days were over.

3. Control the controllable. There are only a few things you have control over – and the weather, the officials, the fans, the other team aren’t among them. How you respond to those things are within your control, though, as are your effort and your attitude. Don’t waste any time concerning yourself about things that you cannot control. Stay positive and remember in the end it all balances out.

4. Set high expectations for yourself and your team. Not just in wins and losses, but also with how you represent yourselves in terms of behavior and sportsmanship. If you personally live by the expectations you set, the players will follow suit.

5. Don’t allow the winning and losing to define you. Practice hard, and prepare, but remember that you’re dealing with teenagers, not professionals. The process is as much a part of it as the results – being a teammate, caring for each other, knowing you’ve given your best…the winning and losing takes care of itself.

6. Take lots of pictures. One day you are going to have made so many memories for so many kids – and it’s all going to go by way too quickly. All the hours, the travel, the hard work – do your future self a favor and get lots of video and pictures so you can relive all of the joy and happiness you are going to share with your players.

7. Train your players as much as you can with a ball at their feet. Don’t get caught up in the “no cleats the first week of practice” rule – kids come to soccer practice to play soccer, not run in circles all day. Be creative when you plan so they can work on all aspects of the games in the exercises you prepare for the players.

8. Finally, smile a lot and make it fun. With all of the ugly stuff happening in the world, and the demands that are being asked of our students, allow them to experience a little laughter and joy on the field. Eat meals together; sing on the bus rides – in 20 years that’s the part they’re all going to remember anyway.

Tony Filicchia
McQueen High School
USSF “A” Licensed Coach

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